Not such a great day!

Well we still have not heard anything from the run away princess. Just hope they find her soon, I know I sound cold when it comes to her but I cannot just sit back and watch this child destroy my wife. It really breaks my heart, and for this child to do this when my wifes health is failing and her grandmother is in intensive care just really baffles me.

Work today was unrewarding, nothing unusual happened, only that I was told I had to take my final 3 days of vacation before the end of next week, but they won't let me take it! Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either but that is what was stated.

Saw some friends tonight that I have not seen in a while and it felt good to catch up on each others lives, then when I got home and my wifes car was not here I knew something was wrong.

I called my wife's cell and she was very distraught, from what I could gather her mother has taken a severe turn for the worse and my wife and her brothers need to make some major decisions on their mothers behalf. My wife and her mother are best friends and unfortunately my wife has total control over what actions to take on her mothers behalf. I know how difficult it will be for my wife to make any type of decision regarding this and all I can do is be there for her, to love and support her and attempt to keep her as healthy as I can so she can ultimately get through all of this.

I know that a few of my friends look at my life and say "how can this guy maintain any type of sense of humor when life deals him this type of deck on daily basis". Well to answer that question I have had an amazing opportunity to reflect on life and I now look at things from a completely different perspective. I no longer try to instill my will into life I just take it as it comes, God, as I understand him, has something bigger in store for me. I believe that he brought me back from the brink of death earlier this year so that I can be here to help and support my wife. But today I cannot find anything funny at all!

Before all this happened I was a very self absorbed individual and focused on everything I could to get ahead. My job, at one point, was my life and it seemed that I had turned my back on my family. I did not do this on purpose I only did this to try to provide for them what I never had as a child, now I look back and see that I have really lost more than I could have ever provided. I drank over every occasion, the good and the bad. I guess in retrospect I just didn't really want to face the reality of my life. Now I no longer drink or take any type of pain killers. I live my life from day to day! In these past months I have had to face some pretty grim realities and somehow I was able to overcome them without the need to drown my sorrows.

I am now very thankful for my life, I have been given opportunities to do things and go places other people only dream of. I now understand that none of this has been based on luck! Just take a look at what I've written about in just that past couple of days and tell me just how lucky I am! I will tell you that I have been fortunate to be blessed with my life, my wife (this woman is one of the strongest people I know and she has always stood beside me) and all of our kids. I now thank God that I can be here for my wife to help her through this very trying time she is going through just as she has done for me in the past! I thank God everyday of my life for letting me finally see the blessings he gave me rather than pushing them blindly aside!

I love my family very much, sometimes I just don't like them a whole lot, my step daughter's antics can tell you why that is. I pray for each and everyone in my life everyday. You are the ones that make me a stronger person. And it is all of you, especially my wife, that I think I am still here.

I am sorry for getting so serious but I just had to get this off my chest. Honey I pray for you, the kids and your mom every day! And may God be with you always!

With all my love,
Mike